sophalicious

February is the month in which we recognise and spread awareness for eating disorders, of all types. A month that I find myself holding onto a bit tighter than usual.
This post is for my sister. My best friend.

In the interest of protecting her privacy, I will not delve into the details of the way in which she has struggled. Instead, in the spirit of spreading awareness, I will pay homage to just how hard she has fought and continued to fight in order to overcome this very difficult battle. A battle she was way too young to endure, way too young to deserve and way too young to have to fight at all.
Everything I breathe life into, I do for her. I do because I love her, because I admire her, and because she inspires me to do better and to fight harder when I find myself slipping into my own bad habits.

I will not shy away from the fact that I have struggled with my eating too. I have an unhealthy relationship with my body and as a result, with food as well. I find myself pulling my shirt up and looking at my side profile, making sure I don’t look too fat to leave the house that day or too wide to wear the things I want to wear. I find myself skipping meals when I don’t look the way I want to, or the way I believe I should.
And then I see her, this beautiful little girl, eating the things she likes and wants to eat with almost no care in the world. It always makes me second guess what I’m doing this to myself for, when I should be serving as the example and inspiration she has been to me for so long. And so when I truly think about it, it makes me want to be better.

So if you’re reading this, this one’s for you. Thank you for being my sister, but more importantly, thank you for being my friend. I’m glad you’re making it out of the other side. And I hope to be as strong as you one day.